We managed to arrive in penang on the 28 october,and went straight to the adventist hospital where my mum was hospitalize at about 11pm.
We called her and she managed to open her eyes for a while,I told her who I am and ask her ,does she understand what I said.She blinked her eyes to confirm,and later Kacang also did the same things like I did.
My mum seems to be in a semi conscious condition.We both told her not to worry about us or our family,as we are all alright,then she blink her eyes again to confirm.Later ,Dr.lou ,her specialist doctor came in to meet us,and explained her conditions to us.
He told us that my mum is just trying her best to hang on ,as my sisters told her ,we will be arriving today. Dr.Lou told me,my sisters can't decide wheather to bring her home or not as my mum wanted to go home so much when she was able to speak time.
So I asked DR.Lou,would my mum suffered if everything is taken off when she is taken back home? Dr.Lou ,took off all the equipments,like her drips and oxygen,to let me see for 10 minutes,he says,my mum will be in this condition when she is at home.He later told us that he extended these things ,so that my mum can hang on until,she gets to meet us.
Later I phone my sisters who are waiting at home,it is best to get mama home as it is her wish.When I told my mum that we are taking her home,she opened her eyes so big.It was so different when we spoke to her earlier time.
We managed to get her home in an ambulance at 1.30 am,and from the ambulance to her room in my sister's house,she kept her eyes wide open.
We rest her in her bedroom and talk to her .We asked her is she happy now and also all her childern is beside her now? She blinked her eyes to confirm again.
We all went to bed at about 4am,and wake up at 6am to check on her again.
She was still hanging on,so all her children went into her room to chat with her,but she was still struggling to breath..
We were very confused and sad,so at last,we decided to call the siamese priests from Pulau tikus temple,to come and pray for her.
The head priest and his assistant head priest arrive and when they saw her,the head priest ask us all to pray with them to lead my mum to the correct way to the other world as she is very confuse and afraid.
We prayed along with the priests and later my elder sister and young sister sent the priest back.
We noticed something different about my mum,her swelling face and broken cracked lips started to change.Her swelling neck and face returned to normal,and her lips and tongue with all those sores were gone and they looks so pinkish.But her breathing started to decrease from 3 times per breath to 2 times per breath.We all called out to her to hang on as my 2 other sisters is trying to be back as fast as they can.We saw her tear drop from one side of her eye,then her breathing started to drop to 1 time per breath....and when my 2 other sisters came back, enter her room and hold her hands,and called "mama",my mum drops her last tears and stop breathing..
We all were holding on to her body until she left us,and crying non stop.Even now as I am writing this blog about my mum,my tears is dripping non stop..I miss you so much ..Mama...
WE arranged for her funeral and held a "kong teck"with a big house and every thing in it for her.The funny thing is on the "kong teck"night ,we were crying non stop when they did the toaist prayers to sent her off to the other world.
The wind and rain were so strong each time they try to chant the prayers,and the "sai kong"ask us not to cry as my mum refused to goes off as she is also sad to see her children cry.
So we try again to control our tears,and the wind and rain stops for a while but in the middle of the chanting,some of my sisters can't control ,and started to cry again,then all of us cry again...then the strong wind n rain came again.
The "sai kong" says it is best we control ourselves,so we did it on the third time,and the rain n wind stop,and we managed to burnt her house and things for her to bring to the other world.
On the day of her funeral,we cry non stop as we sent her off with the siamese priests chanting in front of her casket car and inside the casket car is the "sai kong".We were all holding on to the casket car and calling to her to cross bridge each time when we passes one.That is the worst moments of our life as we were all crying non stop..
We cremated her in Mount Erskine and also bought a "condominumn"there for her on the 8 level .We went to collect her ashes and bone on the 7 days and put them into her urn,and also to perform the first 7 days ceremony.
That "condominumn"consist of only 2 stories,so my mum's "condominumn" is on the upper floor.I too bought one on the 7 level,and had the urn covered with "red cloth" with a "hock" wording,as I am still alive.I told my mum if it is god wishes,when my time is up,I want to be near her.She give me a "sin pui"when we went to do the first 7 days ceremony at her "condominium".
Before I end this blog,I would like to thank DR.Lou Yok Chon,the stuff nurse and nurses of adventist hospital,for taking so good care of my mum.I would also like to thank all our friends and relatives who attended her funeral.
"Mama,I will always love you in my heart..you are the best mother I could ever have..may you rest in peace..."

33 comments:

sting said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences. I'm sure she's happy that she has all her children with her at the last moment.

I was crying when I read your post. It reminds me of both my parents. Unfortunately, I did not get to see either of them just before they "left" and I think that is my greatest regret...

Do take care

jepunlauee said...

thanks alot "sting"..I think I will let time slowly heal my pain..

Jesse Tan said...

I'm so sorry to hear that and with my deepest condolences. Reading your blog reminds me about my father-in-law last year. It's really very sad, but as time pass by you can recover with all the sweet memories you have with your mama. Your mama is very lucky to have all her childrens beside her. take care...

Kok said...

Aunty,
My deepest condolence to you and your family. May your mum rest in peace.

I almost drop my tears when I read this post. I still remember when my gong gong was going to the other world and I was not able to go back home to send him. I still regret and miss him a lot. :(

Sue said...

Hi Lau ee,
Our deepest condolences to you, Kacang and your family...may yor mum rest in peace...

I cried when I read your post, be strong...your mum is in a "better" place now...mourn as you must but also don't forget the living...

Constance Chan said...

My deepest condolence to you and your siblings and family. Remember to take care of yourself and your family. In your heart she will stay, there will be no change.

May God bless her soul.

Tau Sar Phneah said...

Lau ee, once again my deepest condolences to your family and kacang...may God blessed her soul

do take care of yourself...and as u said, time is the best healing..

K3ViN said...

may her soul rest in peace.... even i also can't control my tears, i cry nw... this post really remind me 2 my father time, 7 years ago. it was a fook if all children can send off her parents when they pass away... but me?...... kinda sad here. hope lau ee n kacang remind strong no matter what happen ok?

Sim said...

I would like to convey my deepest condolence to you, Kacang and your family members, the depart of your beloved mum. I'm glad that all of you able to be at her side till her last breathe. Life must go on no matter what happens! Take care and god bless!

Taoju

Boone Goh said...

My deepest condolence to you, Kacang and your family.

I can understand the feeling of a loved one passing by as I had been through it when my father in - law passed away. Eventhough it is expecting of it already.

Again, my condolence to you and your family.

Boone

kaheng said...

My condolence to you & Your family.
U Take Care, Kacang too.

KE

jepunlauee said...

Thank you so much..to all my dear and kind friends..for the condolences and comments..once again..thanks you ,all of you for being so kind on these painful moments of our life..

KopiSoh said...

Dearest JPL,
My heart just broke into tears reading your post. From my own experience I know there is nothing I can say or do to make the pain any less, so I am just gonna be here for you whenever you need me and give warm hugs to both you and Kimmy.

Love,
Kopi Soh

jepunlauee said...

thanks you so much,kopi soh for your good and kind support..

TINTIN said...

She will always live in your heart. Take a good care yourself ok?.. Be Strong!!

Joze Foo said...

My deepest condolences to you Lau ee, and sorry i missed out this post. Your mum situation before she passed away is almost like my grandma. When loves one pass away, of cos we are sad. But when you think of she will suffer and struggle more if she alive then you will be glad that she is gone. I am not saying you should celebrate or wat. Jus don be so sad and think on the positive side. Now when i think of my grandma i will cry, i cry not because she is gone. I cry because i recalled how she struggled to continue breathing and being unconscious. It is really sad to see her struggle then to see her leave us.

jepunlauee said...

you are right ,hnkp...its hurt so much to see my mum struggling for breath when she was suffering when she was alive time..and I knw you knew that most as your granny pass away..just a bit earlier than my mum...thanks a lot for the condolence..it means alot to us...

Nancyew said...

I am so sorry. My condolence to you and your family. It is painful I know to loose someone dear. The consolation is that you and Kacang managed to come back during the CNY to see her for the last time. I am very sure that she had been glad as both of you had taken the trouble to make her comfortable. I like to share this poem with you.
How do I love thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height,
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Nancyew said...

When I Must Leave You For a Little While

When i must leave you for a little while,
please do not grieve and shed wild tears and hug your sorrow to you through the years,
but start out bravely with a gallant smile.
And for my sake and in my name,
live on and do all the things the same.
Feed not on your loneliness and empty days,
but fill each working hour in useful ways.
Reach out your hand in comfort and cheer and in turn I will comfort you and hold you near.
And never, never be afraid to die for I am waiting for you in the sky!

jepunlauee said...

thank you so much,nancy for your condolence and wonderful poems..they helps to ease our pain alot...nice to have a friend lik you ....

-crash- said...

JLE, just found out....
my deepest condolences to you/kacang and your families. Be strong, not easy when it comes to closes one, as last month even when my boss pass away, the so act COOL me cry like a 5 years old baby.

May she rest in peace! We all know she will.

jepunlauee said...

thanks ,-crash- ,for your condolence...and kind concern...

John Ong said...

JPL my thoughts are with you. My deepest condolences. Losing a loved in is never easy. Just don't forget that someone's death shouldn't be covered by their life. We should also slowly start to celebrate her life when we're don't mourning her death.
Hugs from me to all your sisters.

Piggy said...

oh, jepunlauee, so sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Sorry for not visiting for so long......hope you will get better....take good care......

Xiao-Kia said...

JLE. take care yourself and think in future. Pass already pass and let her go as peaceful way and glad you still can see her before she go. My deepest condolences to you and Amy and myself will always be your friend to support you. ^.^

jepunlauee said...

thanks alot..my dear friends..John ong,piggy and Xiao kia...for your condolence and kind comforts..they means alot to us at a time like this...once again..thank you so much...

Anonymous said...

Hi,

This is a test comment.

aussieahchee

Headmaster said...

So sorry to hear that...
But good to know that she is leaving in peace with all the children beside her...

I believe she would always want you to be happy even without her by your side...
So do take good care of yourself...

jepunlauee said...

thank you so much for your condolence and kind words..headmaster...I am abit better now due to so many kind thoughts and kind concerns from all my dear friends...like you and all my online friends..

like they says in time of sadness..true friends are the ones who console you...thanks alot...all my dear friends..

Gallivanter said...

My deepest condolences...

jepunlauee said...

thanks Gallivanter..for your condolence...you are so kind..

Raymond said...

We are so sorry to hear about this. I know we are a bit late because we moved to france on the end of Oct and only got our internet connection last week.

jepunlauee said...

its,okay,kanasai..thanks for the condolence and you and jenny are so kind...